Alan Jackson’s oldest daughter, Mattie, married the love of her life, Ben Selecman, in October 2017. But Ben tragically lost his life in September 2018, making mattie a widow at just 28 years old.
Mattie grieved for years — until fate took her in a new direction. This is the real truth about Mattie’s new life, and her new love.
Media outlets, including Taste of Country, reported on Ben’s tragic passing, but no account was more devastating to hear than Mattie’s personal recollection of the accident.
The Tragic Day that Changed Mattie’s Life
Mattie and Ben had joined her parents and other family members to celebrate the Labor Day weekend. They were gathered in Jupiter, Florida, where Alan and his wife, Denise, have a vacation property. Alan also keeps a boat in Florida, and everyone was going for a boat ride.
Mattie remembered that day as sunny and hot, although the boat dock felt slippery and wet under their feet. Mattie said that Ben “just slipped.” He fell backward on the dock, and he hit his head on the concrete. While the incident was shocking, Mattie wasn’t too concerned at first.
“It was a pretty long fall. But you know, it was one of those things where it’s almost like watching somebody play high school football,” she said. Mattie fully expected that Ben would shake it off, although she wondered if he might have suffered a mild concussion.
Mattie and Ben Were Newlyweds
In an interview with People, Mattie confessed that she and Ben were still in the honeymoon phase of their life. Shockingly, the accident happened only three and a half weeks before their first wedding anniversary.
“Ben had one of the biggest personalities of anybody I’ve ever known. He was joyful and cheerful, and he was friends with everyone,” shared Mattie. On the day of Ben’s accident, two people who weren’t friends with Ben were still worried about him.
Mattie recalled that two off-duty EMTs came over shortly after Ben slipped. They’d watched him fall, and they told Mattie and her family that ben should probably be checked out at an ER. So Mattie got her husband to a hospital right away.
After that, the situation became very desperate, far too quickly. Neurosurgeons examined Ben and told Mattie something terrifying that she never expected to hear: “There’s a chance we’re going to have to do surgery.”
Ben’s brain had started to swell, which is dangerous.
The situation was felt unreal for Mattie, because her husband was still awake and conscious at this point. Mattie recalled, “he was disoriented and in pain, but he was awake.”
Ben’s Condition Deteriorated Quickly
Sadly, Ben’s brain swelling turned out to be more dangerous than anyone could anticipate. He had to go through multiple brain surgeries and placed in a medically induced coma for a week and a half. This was a desperate move by doctors to control what was happening to him.
Mattie has a strong faith in God, and even at this low point, she refused to give up hope. After consulting with Ben’s doctors and getting advice from her family, Mattie bravely decided that Ben should be woken up from his induced coma.
Although she did realize that Ben had a long, hard road ahead of him, she thought that waking him up was “like the light at the end of the tunnel.” She said that she prepared herself for many years of helping her husband through physical therapy.
She even expected to be spending plenty of time with Ben at a brain trauma clinic. But the reality was far more devastating for Mattie and her family. Shortly after Ben was woken up from the induced coma, he suffered a broken blood clot in his head.
It resulted in multiple strokes, and he experienced severe, terminal brain damage. How Mattie felt in these desperate moments is incredibly painful to hear: “You can’t ever imagine that high of a high and that low of a low within a three-minute window,” she said.
Within 24 hours, it became clear that Ben would not survive. Ben passed away on September 12, 2018. For Mattie, the three years after Ben’s tragic passing were the absolute hardest. It felt like her life was falling apart. “There were so many times when I had no idea how to process anything,” she said.
Mattie Channeled Her Grief Into a Book
However, Mattie figured out how to journey through her pain and sadness. “I thought if God could use all of my questions, and all of my tears, and all of the stuff I was grappling with…” she said, adding that she thought maybe she could help someone in her situation feel like they were less alone.
For Mattie, that meant writing a book: “Lemons on Friday: Trusting God Through my Greatest Heartbreak,” was published in November 2021. Mattie told people that her life story so far was “honestly grieving something that is heartbreaking, that you know God could have stopped.” However, her ultimate goal with the book was to spread hope.
Mattie confessed that she didn’t think God chose to inflict such tremendous pain on her: “I think the world is broken and it’s sinful and bad things happen and docks get wet, and people fall, and that’s the way that it is.” Mattie looked beautiful and happy when she appeared on TV to promote her book and remember her late husband.
But there was still a big question mark in her life, one that created fear and uncertainty in her heart. Mattie told people that she was most afraid of leaving her love for Ben behind and starting to lose memories about him. She wasn’t sure how long she’d wear her wedding ring for or how long to keep pictures up.
How Mattie Found Love Again After Loss
But she kept hoping and praying. She told fans in an Instagram post that she asked God to give her the chance to love someone with her whole heart again. She had formed close friendships with other widows, who assured her that her heart would eventually heal and expand to love two people equally, though differently.
In 2021, a close friend of Mattie’s wanted her to meet someone named Connor Smith, one of her best friends’ brother-in-law. Mattie decided to test the waters with a blind date. She agreed to meet Connor at happy hour. “Four hours later, drinks turned to dinner, and from that day ‘til now, he has been one surprise after another,” she said.
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In September 2022, Mattie and Connor went to Florida to celebrate his birthday. Shortly afterward, Mattie posted another message on instagram. “Well… came down for a beach week to celebrate my sweet man’s 30th birthday,” she wrote, showing off an engagement ring alongside the caption.
She added that she was feeling “overwhelmingly thankful, excited, and thrilled.” Mattie shared how much she loves Connor’s playful spirit and kind heart and called him “the biggest blessing in the dang cutest package.”
On May 12, 2023, Mattie and Connor got married in a stunning location, the Breakers Palm Beach Resort in Florida.
